Beware the Creeper

By request(!) I sat down and watched Beware the Creeper. Or Beware the Yellow-Skinned Wacky Man!

The episode opens with Jack Ryder doing a live report about the Joker and his origins. It seems to be a sort of news magazine type show, where next week he’ll be catching internet predators, or showing you the truth behind the fast food industry. Bruce is sitting at home watching, when the Joker shows up, crap, and they run off to save the day.

Maybe this is just me, but there seem to be just a whole goddamn lot of reporters in, not only the DCAU, but in the entire DC Universe. Not to mention that it’s apparently one of the most dangerous jobs there. They have to be getting paid a lot for how often they get kidnapped or attacked or used to lure a hero into a trap.

At the Ace Chemical Plant, Joker has given Jack’s crew a fog machine’s worth of laughing gas. Jack, seemingly oblivious to his crew’s misfortune, insists that they keep filming, and gets a dose of laughing gas himself. Joker takes this opportunity to shove him into a vat full of chemicals.

Batman and Robin arrive and start pummeling the Joker’s stooges. There are three of them, and they are voiced by Billy West. Jack swims around in the acid, and Joker gives him a cigar.

It explodes, and there’s a shot with a sign that says “no smoking” off to the side. The camera also zooms in on it, to make sure we got the message. Yeah camera, we know. God, it’s like a fuckin’ Truth ad in here or something.

There’s some more fighting and Robin bumps a lever that sends the vat of chemicals Jack’s still in swirling down to a toilet sound effect, and out into the harbor. He leaves behind one survivor: his shoe. I think it was a right shoe.

As Batman is about to hand Joker his ass on a big Bat Platter, Joker suggests he try to save Ryder instead. And Batman is all “oh no! Arrrgh, choices, crap! Ryder it is!”

Gosh Batman, if only you had…oh, I don’t know, a partner or something, maybe one of you could go after Ryder while the other one fights Joker? If only..IF ONLY.

We find Jack has turned into a crazed guy making crazy jokes and being crazy. He spies on a lady in the bathroom, and hops off with a nice Buttons & Mindy reference. He heads for a Ditko’s Vintage Clothes or maybe it was Clothing, I don’t know, the Ditko’s is the important part because there is another great reference here to Steve Ditko’s character(that we all fell in love with,) The Question.

He picks out some great clothes and the most elaborate boa I’ve ever seen. A calm sales clerk apparently accepts his credit card, since Creeper here isn’t a crook! Though he did cause a great deal of damage in the store, so I hoped he paid for that too. He also smashed their Batman mask.

Wait, why is that in vintage clothing store?

Ah well.

Ya know what would be horrible? Creeper cosplayers. Unless they got all jaundiced first, then it’d be hilarious. But otherwise, horrible.

Joker’s pissed at Creeper, blah blah, whatever HARLEY’S IN A PIE!

Joker though, unlike every male watching the show, doesn’t seem to care, and gives Harley the boot. She wanders over to the Stooges’s joint where they’re getting some hot Creeper action. Creeper falls for Harley and cements his position as someone the male viewers can relate to. Batman shows up and gets a taste of his own medicine.

Do you see, Batman? That’s how that feels.

The Stooges get mad at Batman, and then Batman lifts up a goddamn pool table, holy god.

Harley is not one for Creeper’s charms and drops a huge crate on him. A bit aggressive, but not without warrant. Batman sees this and says “We have to get him out of there!”

Robin replies, “Hope you have a mop.”

“Yes. I do. It’s my Batmop. It cost 5000 dollars, and it fits in my belt.”

Creeper follows Harley back to Joker HQ, and Batman and Robin follow the Creeper. There’s some fighting before Joker takes off on some sort of float with a castle and the castle has a globe on it, and there’s dolls everywhere which seem to be “Dolls of the World.” How they arrived at that for the vehicle design, I’ll probably never know.

There’s some car chasing naturally, until they crash. Batman slaps the Batcuffs on Joker, and Creeper gives us some lessons on sexual assault until Batman gives him a one way ticket on the Naptrain to Boobytown.

Back at Jack’s apartment, Batman has given him a patch to take care of the Creeper persona, and tells him that he’ll be fine as long as he keeps wearing the patch! God, enough with the anti-smoking theme already!

And that’s another review! Judges?

Fucking harsh.

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