It’s time for some Superman, because I fucking love Superman. Aside from the scorn Static recieves, Superman seems to be the most tossed aside DCAU show, and it really pains me because there is so much good stuff there.
I decided to watch A Little Piece of Home, as it is an early episode and as a special feature, you can watch it with a pop up trivia track!
The episode starts with Lex opening a new Natural History Museum, filled with treasured relics and he spends time bragging up the security system at the same time Clark notices with his super hearing and X-ray vision that two thugs are robbing the damn museum. The security system uses some weird electric field thing, that these moron robbers bypass with freakin’ rubber gloves. So someone doing the damn dishes is equipped to rob this museum? Ace planning there, Lex.
Brief aside, I fucking love the music on this show.
The trivia popping up at the moment is really mundane stuff like “There are 54 episodes of Superman: The Animated Series.” and “The first episode premiered on blah blah blah whatever, trivia track, this is really great.”
Supes busts in to stop the thugs who decide to throw a spear at him. Not even a good spear. An old, probably rather fragile spear. Naturally, it breaks. They also break a sheild. Both were probably priceless artifacts. Awesome. And this one robber has the worst underbite in history:
Supes ends up near a display which seems to just contain rocks. I guess they’re special rocks? One of them ends up being kryptonite so Superman is like “arrrgh what the–ow crap this sucks!” Lex notices this as he’s watching security tapes later and has the rocks removed. At this point, his scientists figure out that one of the rocks is probably from an alien solar system. Which gets me to wondering how the fuck it ended up in a museum. I just imagine someone saying “eeeh, we need something to go here…how about just some rocks? Like..like some old ones maybe.”
And then a bunch of guys go out to just find some rocks and they find some green glowing rock and the guy in charge says “fuck yes, put that the fuck in that museum.” Does the display just read “Cool rocks, check this shit out?”
Meanwhile at the Daily Planet, Lois is wasting a great deal of paper playing basketball with her trash can.
“Just a blank sheet off this stack, crumple it up and bam! Into the trash!”
Clark does just…an excellent job of pretending he doesn’t know who Lois is talking about when she mentions something about Superman. Clark, I’m pretty sure it’s ok if you notice things, you are supposed to be a reporter. Lois then gets a call from one of Lex’s scientists who is probably getting some sort of sexual favor for leaking info to Lois. At least, I mean…that’s what I’ve heard on the internet.
The trivia track is now telling me who voiced people. That’s great, trivia track, really.
Lex is setting a trap for Supes and Lois is getting some kryptonite from the scientist. The trap entails some guys and luring Supes to a place and whatever, but they blow up this helicopter and there’s a “In case of fire, break glass” thing, but the explosion is what breaks the glass! That is so goddamn convenient!
Supes chases the dudes, and actually pulls off some pretty slick shit. Superpowers aside, the big guy can be mighty impressive.
The guy Lex hired is a jackass who goes overboard with crap and Supes and the guy fall into some handy water, thank god. And then Bibbo shows up!
Supes knows it’s a plan devised by Lex, and takes a fly over to Lex’s place. There’s a shot enjoy here quite a bit.
Lex opens his enormous window which goes…I don’t know where, but I imagine that when he opens it, a bunch of papers on his desk get blown around everywhere. Lex says he wants to make a deal, and Superman says that he is listening. He is, in fact, super-listening. Lex lays out his terms and Superman says that he doesn’t make deals with criminals.
So why did you bother listening? Whatever.
Lois is chillin’ at STAR Labs (The trivia track informs me that it stands for Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories (Labs stands for Laboratories!)) with Dr. Hamilton, where the future is so bright, they gotta wear shades.
Superman shows up and Hamilton explains that the rock is probably a chunk of Krypton, a small chunk, Kryptonite! He then explains that its effects can be blocked by lead. He places the piece in a tiny lead treasure chest.
He is going to take that home and put it in his aquarium where it’ll fill with bubbles and then pop open and the bubbles will fly out and all of his Kryptonian fish will die.
Lex in the meantime has set another trap and uses Lois to fall for it which will lure Superman there. Back at the museum, the two of them get trapped in the room with the big dinosaur which turns out to be a robot! I have no idea why they had a robot dinosaur in the natural history museum. Were they gonna do shows?
The trivia track, at this point, takes a turn for the fucking awesome, as it informs me that dinosaurs are cool.
It goes on to inform me that dinosaurs don’t actually have yellow eyes with cameras in them,
and then relates the fact that for that matter, dinosaurs probably weren’t robots.
Holy jesus, trivia track, I have just fallen in love you.
The robot dinosaur is controlled by Lex, who is back at his office, with a great controller that has two joysticks, and probably a cup holder. That’d be cool.
Superman is having some trouble with the robot dino because there’s also kryptonite in the room, and Lois hones her basketball skills to land it into one of the ancient cups that has lead in it. It is a fucking amazing shot, and somehow doesn’t knock the cup over. I think there’s some magic they need to get rid of in the room too.
Supes commences with the busting the shit out of that robot, which thankfully isn’t a priceless artifact, but then takes the cup with kryptonite, which is a priceless artifact, smashes it the fuck up and hurls it into space.
The episode ends with a bunch of miners hired by Lex, looking for kryptonite, and the trivia track bids me a fond farewell. I’ll miss you trivia track, though our love can never be as intense as the one that brews between Clark and Lex.
They can probably smell each other’s cologne, the musky scent drawing them in, closer and closer..
What? Where am I?