For some reason I decided it would be fun to do the up close and personal thing with one of the vehicles from the DCAU: the Javelin 7. At first I thought it would be a cool idea because I find the vehicle rather amusing. Then as I started “researching” I felt there was a lack of material. And now as I sit down to write, I’m glad there’s not a lot because I’m fucking tired as hell. Maybe a little of that is my full time job. Maybe a bit more was all the energy I spent being surly earlier today. I spend a lot of time being surly.
My American Heritage College Dictionary defines a javelin as “1. a light spear thrown with the hand as used as a weapon. 2. Sports a. A metal or metal-tipped spear thrown for distance in track and field competitions. b. The athletic field event in which a javelin is thrown.” This dictionary also tells us the etymology of the word, but I don’t really like bugs.
Did anyone even get that joke there?
Some synonyms for javelin (in the higly, incredibly unlikely case that you would need one) are spear, shaft, bolt, harpoon, gaff, pike, half-pike (if you need a synonym for half-javelin), spontoon (what?); assegai, jereed, eelspear, gig, dart, arrow.
Those got fucking weird at the end.
The Javelin was introduced in the episode “In Blackest Night” where they fly it to Ajuris 4 or 5 or who was even keeping track? Though I guess if anyone was keeping track, it’d be me. Over the course of Justice League we learn a lot about, and by “a lot” I mean “a little.”
For instance, in that episode we find out that Flash doesn’t know how to fly it, although there is evidence (him flying it) that he learns to fly it later on.
In another episode we discover that Batman designed the Javelin, and most likely paid for it too. Just like he pays for everything the League could ever need ever. It also comes equipped with a wormhole generator for interstellar travel, seats seven, probably has some cupholders somewhere, and a nice CD player and satellite radio, and seatbelts, and some of the seats have control panels of some sort. It also is equipped with magic or something, because the thing gets blown the fuck up all the damn time, and it’s always better. Always.
I mean looK! There’s just pieces of it everywhere!
At the end of Starcrossed, Flash is talking about the possible end of the League and makes note of the fact that the Javelin is gone. “Gone?” I think to myself, “Isn’t it gone at the end of almost every single episode?”
When the series switched up to become unlimited, the Javelins became unlimited too, giving anyone and anything even more of an opportunity to blow them up.
A bit less is known about these new and maybe improved Javs. That’s what I call them for short, “Javs.” I certainly didn’t just start that now because of my incredibly laziness even when it comes to typing.
They did get a great new paint job that is sorta greenish, I guess?
We also know that they have an eject button, and that when you hit it doesn’t really fling you out in a springy seat; it’s more of an eject pod type situation. I think it holds like 12 people or something, they mentioned it somewhere.
Pop Quiz!
Can you guess why the Javelin 7 is called the Javelin 7?
Answer: It is pointy, and it seats 7.
If that was at all difficult, you might need sleep even more than I do.